When the Connection Doesn’t Happen – and the Self-Empathy I Learned to Give Myself

A few years ago, I had a strong vision for where I wanted to go in my business. I could see it clearly: the impact I wanted to make, the people I wanted to collaborate with, and the kind of leader I was becoming.

At that time, there were certain people - mentors, communities, or collaborators who I really wanted to connect with. I thought, “If I could just get in the room with them… if they could just see what I’m building, they’d get it.”

But the connection never landed.

I reached out. I showed up. I gave it energy.

And it didn’t happen.

For a long time, I made that mean something about me.

Maybe I’m not good enough yet.

Maybe I don’t belong.

Maybe I’m not as ‘ready’ as I thought I was.

It hurt. And instead of holding that hurt with compassion, I tried to outrun it. I pushed harder, worked more, tried to 'prove' my worth through performance.

But I can see the truth now. After years of inner work, healing, and deep personal growth:

Sometimes, the people you’re meant to walk with aren’t ready for you yet.

Sometimes, you’re not fully ready to receive what you thought you wanted.

And sometimes, rejection isn’t punishment, it’s protection.

Looking back, I can see I didn’t yet have the emotional foundation to hold the kind of visibility, leadership, or collaboration I was reaching for. Not because I was lacking, but because I was still becoming.

Now, with more groundedness, more self-trust, and a deeper sense of my own value, I understand:

Connection will happen when it’s aligned.

Opportunities will land when the energy is right.

And most importantly, my worth was never in question.

The journey taught me to offer myself empathy instead of pressure.

To say: “You were doing your best with the tools you had. And that was enough.”

So if you’re building something brave and the connections aren’t clicking…

If it feels like you’re being overlooked, left out, or misunderstood…

Pause. Breathe. And ask yourself with kindness:

“Where in my journey have I needed empathy, but given myself pressure instead?”

“What would it look like to give myself what I needed back then, even now?”

This is how we rise...

with softness, not shame.

With love, and a sprinkle of accountability

Sara x